< Go Back Quick tips for a happier life Posted: Oct 18, 2022We all have
occasions where we explode with anger and irritation at something that someone
does that hurts or upsets us. Most of us
use language that attempts to convey the level of pain or annoyance this has
caused us but inevitably this leads to an escalation with insults and
accusations traded on both sides.
Next time
you find yourself in this situation try to pause before you speak and instead
of blurting out personal criticisms and accusations try instead to articulate
the effect that the other person’s behaviour has had on you. So, when your partner announces they are going
out and leaving all the washing up for you to do, instead of saying “You’re so
selfish, you never think of anyone but yourself” say “When you just go out and
leave me to clear up it makes me feel really used and unappreciated, especially
when I cooked dinner tonight”.
Giving the
other person an insight into your emotional response stands a better chance of
resolving the situation calmly - after all, it’s difficult to argue the case
against a justified emotional reaction to unjustifiable behaviour!
