< Go Back Raising Self-Esteem Posted: Oct 13, 2016
Clients seek my help as a life coach for many different reasons but over
the years I have found that low self esteem is often an underlying element in
the problems they bring. For this
reason, working with a client to raise their self esteem is frequently the
first step towards resolving the issues they face and enabling them to live the
life they want.
We all have times when we lack confidence and don't feel good about
ourselves but when low self-esteem becomes a long term problem it can have a
harmful effect on our lives and on our mental health. Self esteem is the opinion we have of
ourselves. When we have a healthy
self-esteem we are more likely to feel positive about ourselves and about life
in general. It makes us able to deal
with life's ups and downs more easily.
When our self-esteem is low we are more likely to see ourselves and our
lives in a more negative light and find it difficult to deal with the challenges
that life throws at us.
There are many reasons why we might have low self-esteem. Stress and difficult life events can have a
negative impact on self-esteem but personality can also play a part - some
people are simply more prone to negative thinking while others set impossibly
high standards for themselves and then feel failures when they can't achieve
them.
The problem with thinking that we're no good is that we start to behave
as if it's true; we hide away from social situations, stop trying new things
and avoid things we find challenging.
This in turn can lead to problems such as depression and anxiety and may
lead to smoking or drinking too much as a way of coping.
So, what can you do to raise your self-esteem? One method I use with my clients is to ask
them to identify and challenge the negative beliefs they have about
themselves. Actively notice and write
down the negative thoughts you have about yourself and think about when you
first started thinking them. Next, write
down evidence that challenges these negative beliefs. For example, if one of your negative thoughts
is "nobody cares about me" you may come up with facts that challenge this such
as "my sister calls me every week for a chat" and "a friend dropped in to see
me last week". Write down other positive
things about yourself such as "I am a great cook" or "I am thoughtful" and aim
to have at least five things on your list.
Add to it regularly and put it somewhere where you can easily see it so
you can keep reminding yourself that you are okay! This process is about helping you recognise
that you have strengths as well as weaknesses and that you can grow and develop
new, positive ways of seeing yourself at any stage in your life.
If you are struggling with
low self-esteem and you think that you would benefit from professional help then click here
and contact me.
